"Giving a teacher an apple is nice and everything, but if you're just bad all the time anyway it doesn't really help." - Naima, grade 2.
I mean, we have to have SOME standards.
And they’re a different kind of funny, I think. The kind with a LOT of eye-rolling. I overheard this gem walking down the hall today, though:
“…and then she BIT my TEETH. I am like, ‘WHO BITES TEETH?!’ and then she’s all, ‘Prince, you’re a bad kisser.’ WHAT?! YOU’RE a bad kisser. WHO BITES TEETH…”
Should I be concerned that this is my new school’s idea of the perfect “Welcome Back!” gift for the entire staff?
“Let’s put the campers in the room with the open shelves full of jagged glass”
“Oh, good thinking”
Sam: “…and then she and all her friends went to see the opera.”
Aadi: “Wait…is it Opera or Oprah?”
Scoring products for students being considered for the gifted program. Not sure this is the kind of “gifted” they’re looking for…
My kindergarteners were brainstorming insects to draw. It was going pretty predictably, you know, “Butterfly!”, “Ladybug!”, “Butterfly!”, “No, IIIIIII said butterflyyyy!”, etc., until one kid piped up, “BATS!” And without any prompting from me this class of presumed Calvin & Hobbes virgins (they’re 5, after all) screams…
Michael, 5th Grade, Indignant: “I mean, it’s not even Raisin Bran! They should not call it that! It should be Bran with a Hint of Raisin.” (Trailing off, mumbling) “Barely a hint.”
Walked into my classroom to this this morning. Clearly someone is trying to tell me…something. This is going to torment me all day.
A kid complained that she “messed up”, and when I saw her paper I figured out that what she meant was “I rubbed at my paper so hard with a wet paintbrush that I wore a hole through it”. So, I delivered one of my pre-recorded messages for such situations:
Self: “Oh. Yikes. I can’t help you there, I don’t have my magic wand today.”
Kid next to her, whispering: “That’d be awesome though.”
